Do You Really Want the World to Know You're a Cat Lady?

I'm not going to lie, I judge people with bumper stickers.

I hate them - the bumper sticks, not the people (actually, that's debatable).

There is nothing worse than trying to peacefully drive home after a long day’s work, only to be berated by someone’s political agenda, religion or lack there-of, music choice, world views, vacation destination or their child’s recent school success - all via an annoy little sticker on their car.

I don't think I am alone in saying I.DON'T.CARE. Nothing will be important enough for you to tell me as I am driving 60 MPH down the highway trying to avoid rush hour traffic and get home before I parish from starvation.

 

I also don't care how many people and pets are in your family. It is not necessary to have a decal stick figure representation of each one of them. I saw this van once that I could have sworn belonged to the Duggars: 19 Stick Figures and Counting.

In my opinion, the only acceptable things to advertise on your car is the following: 1. A school which you attend/are an alumni of, by means of window cling or license plate decor only. No, I don't mean a vanity plate. 2. Your kids school which they attend/are an alumni of..

...I suppose if you like a sports team a window cling for them is acceptable as well - but only in season.

That's it.

If you really feel the urge to share your political view - write your local paper. If you have a witty one-liner you absolutely need to share with a large group of people who don't care - use Twitter

There are always better options than a bumper sticker.

Otherwise, that one sticker gets you spinning down a slippery slope.

Case in point:

Photo courtesy of Jessie. She uses this as daily motivation not end up alone in life.

The Every Other Rule.

Men, it is not just you who abide by the rules when it comes to bathroom etiquette. While you pride yourselves on knowing that you are to leave at LEAST one urinal between you and your bathroom acquaintances, us women also have some unspoken but widely followed rules as well. This includes the every other (in our case) stall rule.

Because really, who wants to crowd someone who is trying to use the bathroom if there is a stall a little farther away that can serve you just as well. I mean, it is already hard enough to get that first shy stream going while the two of you awkwardly sit in silence trying to break the seal.

I don't know about you, but I have also noticed recently that there is somewhat of an avoid all contact with said person in the bathroom rule. For the most part, guys are at the urinal so there is no way to avoid human interaction; however, for ladies the stalls provide an anonymous shield to hide behind - and they use it. And its not an easy feat, you have to have perfect timing.

As soon as the person in the stall hears someone else walk in, the automatically reach for the toilet paper. It almost seems like they are pulling it off as loudly as possible to let new arrival know that they are finishing up. Then, when the new arrival goes into the stall (2 down of course) they quickly dash for the sink (hopefully) and make their exit before having to actually come face-to-face with this real live human being.

Despite their effort to remain anonymous, the shoes always give it away.

I suppose the last, and sometimes the most important, rule I want to talk about is what I like to call the "first floor" rule. This is the secret bathroom that girls have where they can take care of the real dirty work. While most people know what it is used for, it is not to be discussed. "The-bathroom-that-shall-not-be-named." In college, it was the girls bathroom on the first floor - hence the name of the rule. However, feel free to dub this rule whatever you want it. Because girls.... and guys, we all know you have one. At work, school or even the bathroom at your house you use when guests are over.

I write this post because everyone knows it's true, and because, in the great words of Taro Gomi "Everybody Poops."



So Enjoy! (the video I mean) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsLqKAvKiQM