One girl, One cup

Guys seem to have it easier in every respect when it comes to the doctor’s office. They only have to suffer from the awkward “Now, turn your head and cough,” moment. Girls, we have this whole experience called the gyno; I will leave that topic alone for now.

But really, even the trips to the normal doctor’s office are easier for guys.


For example, this morning I had to go into the doctor’s office for a shot. The first thing I had to do when I go there was pee in a cup.


Let me just go through the reasons why this is such a pain:


1. If I weren’t a girl, chances are I wouldn’t have to be peeing in a cup in the first place. I am not expert, but I would assume guys only have to pee in cups when they are checking for certain ailments that effect the urinary system. Girls, have to pee in cups for EVERYTHING. Why? The doctors assume that just because you say you haven’t gotten any action in 6 months – doesn’t mean you are not really a whore. Meaning, you could be preggers.


2. Even though you haven’t gotten any action in 6 months, YOU aren’t even sure you aren’t really a whore and the whole time you are waiting you are wonder if you just. might. be. preggers.


3. Although I have to pee every hour at work, my bladder seems to think that it would be fun to shut down when I actually am required to go.


4. The female anatomy, unlike the male anatomy, is not really conducive for accuracy. Come on people, it is 8:00 in the morning and I am not a trained marksman.


Plus, it is just awkward to put a cup of your pee in that little door in the bathroom. It just seems weird to know that someone is waiting on the other side to play with it.

 On that note, I am going to wash my hands again.

Things I am thankful for.

1.  The warranty on my windshield wiper motor. You don't realize how nice windshield wipers are until they won't shut off and you spend the next 20 minutes on the highway listening to pfffffffffffttt eeerrrrrrrkkkkkkk screeeecchhhhh pfffffffffffffffffffffttt because the rain stopped.

2. My job. I spent an hour of my day working on this hand-turkey for a coloring contest we're having. Don't tell me that's not a winner.

3. iPhones. Remember when you had to read the shampoo bottle if you were bored on the toilet?

4. Kim Kardashian. Every girl now seems a little more sane.

5. The NBA shut out. Because really, who gives a shit. It has already been a bad enough year for Ohio sports.

6. Stumble Upon. No one wants to put effort into wasting time on the internet

7. Facebook. After looking at everyone else's lives, I am just happy that made it this long without getting pregnant, divorced or tattooed. 

8. Spell check. Saving me at least 5 hand-to-face moments everyday.

9. Leggings. Pants suck. Enough said.

10. You, because you just wasted another three minutes of your life reading my blog. No, you can't have those three minutes back.