Road Rage: Dale Earnhardt Jr. is Afraid of a Little Snow

I was pretty excited when this week started because the weather forecast was looking pretty dismal for North East Ohio. I mean really, what better way to be inspired for a Road Rage topic then 10,000 idiots driving to Cleveland in 8 inches of snow? Easy.

Yet much to my dismay, despite plenty of spin-outs, 35 MPH driving and bad roads, the ride has been no worse than any other week. I will take partial responsibility for the success of my commute for being semi-proactive. I did the “adult” thing and listened to the traffic radio in order to avoid the people who grew up in Ohio but who never learned how to handle the weather (thank-you Ohio Turnpike).

However, with the lackluster events of this week’s commutes thus far, one would think I would be content with people on the road. But that is just it – everyone is driving so responsibly. And the more I thought about how good everyone was being, the more it really started to irk me as I crept down 77-N amidst a blizzard.

If it’s 80 degrees and sunny, all the excellent NASCAR drivers out there cut people off, ride people’s bumpers and wait until the last possible second to merge over into the lane they need to be in. Be serious, you knew that the lane was ended a mile ago. Now it is so damn urgent that you get into my lane that you will nearly side swipe me. I am sorry, but the little hand wave just doesn’t cut it. What I really want to do is break your damn hand off so you have to merge early because you will have no hand to wave.

Oh um, anyways, the point being now that it is snowy out people seem way more concerned about totaling their Lexus’s. This morning people were keeping their distance, using their blinker, merging early and driving appropriate speeds. It’s like, would sliding of the road and smashing into someone really be any different if it were not snowing?

I would think that if I were to smash into something, I would at least want to be able to make a snowman while I waited for the police to arrive. That way, maybe I could soften the hearts of the 8,000 people I just made late to work – but that’s just me.

So Dale Earnhardt Jr. of 480W, the cats out of the bag….we all know that you know what the traffic laws are. You just proved it to everyone. Let’s try using them on a regular basis from now on.